TFOS Mux Log
Subject: Annie Get Your Gun
The McDoggies main dining area is the epitome of clean, wholesome, family eating. Or at least it tries to be. Colorful pictures and paintings adorn the walls, most clashing with the bright red and yellow paint which the establishment has chosen for their colors. Large windows present a fine view of the outside while permitting young kids of all species to make interesting designs on the glass with their food, mouths, and other body parts. Booths line the walls while small four person tables fill the center of the room.
Vern stands on duty at the counter... waiting... waaaiting... Anyone ever mention Sunday mornings are *very* boring? He wavers on his feet, slowly draping himself over the counter. Sleepy time...
Anne scurries in out of the rain, dripping slightly. Once inside, she shakes water off herself like a dog.
Vern starts! Now he's about as awake and alert (and excited!) as a zombie let loose inside the White House... Which is to say not very much. He wipes droplets of water away from his face, and peers blearily at Anne. "Huh? What're you doing in my room?"
Anne blinks, "Your room? You live /here/?"
Vern blinkblinks, looking around. "Huh? Live here? Why would I live here?"
Anne blinks again, "Well... you said it's your room. So, uhm, that would mean you live here."
Vern looks quizically at Anne. "I said this was my room? But... it's so... un...fashionable." He shudders.
Anne nodnods, "Yeah. You did. Just now. Well, a minute or two ago. But you did."
Vern shivers again. "Ewie... Who knows what lies in the subconscious minds of men... So," he says with a cheerful grin, "What can I get ya?"
Sun Jun 13 06:47:18 2004
Anne giggles, "Uhm... well... some fries, I guess."
Vern laughs, "S'alright. Would you like a burger with that?" He pushes a few buttons on the machine, and a few ear-rendering screetches sound from the kitchen in reply.
Anne shakes her head, "No burger, thanks..." She blinks, "Uhm... what was that?"
Tal comes in from the parking lot.
Tal has arrived.
Tal just looked at you.
Vern says, "Hmm?" He looks behind him, at the kitchen. "Oh, the noise?" He grins, "Just lets people know there's an order, while driving them closer and closer the edge of their sanity. Food'll be ready shortly."
Anne blinks again, "Uhm... well... okay... as long as it's not something being killed."
Anne, by the way, stands, ordering from Vern.
With Vern being in front of the counter to boot. He shakes his head, "Nuhuh. The stuff was killed long ago..." He pauses, and whispers, "That's /if/ it were really alive in the first place."
Tal pushes the door open and walks in, his hands in his pockets, whistling, scanning his surroundings as if he was quickly looking for something, ready to leave if he doesn't find it. Upon noticing Anne he grins satisfied and walks over to her. "Oh, there you are, my love!", he says.
Tal also notices Vern and waves to him. "Heya, Vern!"
Anne blinks, "Uh... that's... a bit more than I needed to know..." Upon hearing Tal, she turns and looks at him, "Love!" She starts hopping up and down, "Didja bring it? What is it? Where is it?"
Sun Jun 13 07:12:19 2004
Vern grins, "Hey Tal. Get you anything? Burger, sundae... 'apple' pie?" He turns, and recieves a small packet of fries from a fellow crew member.
Tal uhms... "I think I'll take a burger. I'm in my 'live dangerously' mood, today. He turns to Anne and smiles conspirationally at her, then shakes his head slightly. "Uh-un. First you sit at a table. Then I sit in front of you. Then I'll tell you. I need the right atmosphere. I need Tranquility." He pauses. He scrutinizes Vern from head to toe, turns to Anne and grins. "And a guinea p... I mean, test subject." He smiles wide. "And I think we have one."
Anne keeps hopping, "C'mon! C'mon! I wanna see! Now! Now!" No, she's not excited. Whatever gave you that idea?
Vern grins, "Test subject? Sure!" He first of all presses a few buttons, the screetching noises resounding from the backroom.
Tal frowns at Anne. "But I had reharsed the scene on a table! I had gotten it down to an art! You see, it went like this." He takes a step back. "You sat there..." (he points to where Anne is standing now. She and Tal are separated by a distance which corresponds roughly to the width of a table) "...and I sat here." (he points at himself) "I would rummage into my backpack, pull it out, slide it dramatically across the table" (he does micmic sliding something across the imaginary table) "and then..." He makes a swatting-at-the-air movement with both of his hands while he turns away, the one you do when you give up. "Awww... ok. You're too excited and, besides, I've spoiled the scene by giving away how it was supposed to be done." So he just sighs, reaches into his backpack and hands Anne a (relatively) small plastic case, which, given the weapon nut she is, she is probably foing to recognise as one of those handgun cases you use for zap guns or BGGs. "Here it is." He says, handing it to her and smiling. "Have
Vern watches curiously, leaning over his counter.
Anne blinks, "A box? Oh! To put things in, right? To make things more organized..." She starts pulling things from her backpack that would, presumably, fit inside said box.
Tal snickers. "Uhm... actually, no. It contains a thing to make your backpack even less organised than it is now. Yup, I'm that mean."
Vern looks puzzled. "A box?" He peers at Tal, "What kind of present is a box?"
Anne blinkblinks, "Something /inside/ the box? Even better!" She hurriedly tries to open it. However, she's so excited she has quite a hard time and nearly drops it.
Sun Jun 13 07:37:20 2004
Tal points out to Vern, "Uh... I believe you have failed to take an holistic approach. A present is actually more than just a box and its contents."
Tal dropped Freak Gun.
It looks like your standard TFOS small, but large-barrelled hand-gun (like a zap gun or a boy/girl gun). This one is purple, it has a dial with two settings ("STORE" and "MIX") on the back. There is a cursive "A" inlayed on one side. It's made of a material which looks like ivory (but which isn't. No elephants were harmed during the production of this gun). A small LCD monitor allows you to see which object is stored into its memory.
Here's a new way to embarass your friends: turn them into freaks! Thanks to the (now obsolete) Gelatinous Memory Array technology, it can store the molecular structure of any decently-sized object and superimpose it on any other object. This way you can, for instance, store a cuckoo clock into the memory array and use it to make your friend develop a working clock on their shirt and a small door on their forehead from which a wooden bird comes out every 15 minutes!
Vern chuckles. "Well, yes," he agrees, reaching a hand behind his head to catch the burger carelessly hurtling towards it from the backroom. "I guess you can say the thoughtfullness goes along with it... but a box?"
Anne finally gets the box open and squeals, "Oooh! A gun! One that I don't have! Thank you, love!" She apparently has a hard time deciding whether to test it out first or hug Tal. Test or hug? Test or hug? Unable to decide, she just stands there staring at the gun.
Tal points at Anne and grins in Vern's direction. "I think boxes are nice, when they come with a gun." He then moves over to hug and kiss Anne, possibly putting an end to her dilemma without knowing he's doing so. "Happy No Particular Festivity, Anne!"
Vern laughs, "Oooh, a gun! A wierd gun!" He grins, watching the pair for a few more seconds, before puzzledly asking, "Saaay... Tal, that wouldn't have anything to do with the test subject thing?"
Anne giggles and hugs Tal tightly and kisses his cheek, "Thank you! So, uhm, what's it do?"
Tal laughs. "See, you have to follow a couple of simple steps, but it is not that difficult." He pauses. "The first step consists in setting that dial over there on the 'STORE' position, then you choose any object or person you see in here (<lower voice>except Vern <end lower voice>), and finally pulling the trigger." He grins and points at the small LCD monitor on the back. "It works like taking a photo. You'll see a pretty picture appear on that small screen." Apparently, he hasn't heard Vern.
Vern shuffles uneasily. "Uhm? Guys? Your food...?"
Anne giggles, "Oooh! Lemme try!" She points the gun in Vern's direction, though not /at/ him (but it's probably a bit hard to tell). After turning the dial to 'store', she pulls the trigger. What's her target? A 'freshly made' burger.
Tal moves next to Anne and peers over at the LCD screen. He points at the not very detailed spinning image of a burger. "You'll have noticed that the dial has automatically snapped to the other position." He puts his hands on his hips and grins. "Now you point it at the guin... *cough* 'test subject' pull the trigger and you're done!"
Vern sweatdrops, "Food? Guys? Guys food? Y'know? Getting cold...?"
Anne nodnods, "Ooh! Cool!" She giggles at Vern, "Just a minute!" and then she moves the gun over, just a little, so it is pointing at Vern now. Anne pulls the trigger.
Tal crosses his arms and watches.
Vern makes a very late attempt to dive out of the way, dropping behind the counter. There's complete silence for a few seconds, before Vern's beefy(?) voice says, "Tal... You are so dead if there isn't a cure for this. I'm freakin' Hamburglar!" He stands up, pointing a tomatoey hand at the pair. His head looks like the rounded top of a bun, lettuce curling around his ears for hair, and beef patties for eyes. Well... At least his sunglasses survived, along with the majority of his body?
Anne hops up and down, giggling, "Oooh! It worked! It worked! Yay! Cool!"
Tal slaps his forehead. "OH, KWOTZ! HERE's why I kept getting that nagging feeling that I had forgotten something!"
Sun Jun 13 08:27:21 2004
In the meantime, a few kids in the back turn to look at Vern, mesmerised, their mouths agape. They must think he's the place's mascot, or something like that.
Vern steps onto and then over the counter. Y'know, for a hamburger, he looks pretty ticked off... He wobbles, having touble balancing on his new round, but flat pickle feet. "No cure, Tal?" He nods his bun head a few times, "Right. I think it's time for the Wraith of McDoggies to be unleashed..."
Anne blinks at Tal, "What, love? It's so cool! I wanna do it again!" Since there's really only two people she can shoot right now, and she's already shot Vern... she points the gun at Tal.
Sun Jun 13 08:52:22 2004
Tal starts backing away from Vern, "No, wait, I'm not saying there is no cure. What I'm saying that I have forgotten to implement a storing/restoring mechanism for the subject's original shape into the gun. I.E., you can't be cured by using the gun. But there is a way to get back to normal. The molecular struc..." *BIGBZAP!*, and Tal is now a chubby guy made of bread with sesame seeds all over him, a big cucumber instead of his nose and a meaty 'belt' around his waist. "...ture is technically stable, but with a low margin. After the transient period (whoser exact duration varies from case to case), the configuration can be reverted to the original one, definitely more stable!" He continues, in a doughy voice. He doesn't seem to have noticed what has happened to him.
Vern flops slowly after Tal. "Y'know, I think there's a reason men aren't supposed to become hamburgers, and--" A voice cuts Vern off, rumbly, and rather deep. "Grinkles, smells food. Goooohd food!" Vern looks stunned for a few moments, then tomatosauce-drops. "... And that, is it."
Anne doesn't really pay much attention to what Tal's saying... after all, she just turned her boyfriend into a giant hamburger and that's more interesting and important. She giggles, "Yay! Cool!" Of course, she doesn't notice Grinkles either.
Tal continues backing away. "See, you just need to provide a sufficient amount of energy to the particles so that they can go past the energy barrier. Any kind of energy would work: thermal, electric, kinetic... it has to be sufficiently intense. Oh, and power. Let's not forget about power. The transferral rate must be high, too, so the transferral must happen in a short amount of time..."
Vern shakes his head, turning around in awkward circles while he backs away towards the door. "Tal... I reserve exclusive rights to administer that energy to you. As such, may I suggest that we run like crazy?"
Anne just giggles happily, "This is sooo cool!" She doesn't notice the fact that Tal and Vern are apparently going to get eaten now.
Tal blinks. Looks down at himself. Then, back at Vern. "SURE!", he yells, happily, and starts running out of the door. "But I suspect an impact would be more effective... Oh, and don't tell anybody. I'd like the exact procedure for reversing the process to stay a secret!"
Vern nods, "Don't worry! I know exactly where my car is, and it goes pretty darn fast! You'll just have to stand still!" He grins in anticipation, ducking out the door. From the backroom, there's that same voice as before. "Arharr! Grinkles found hidden lard store! Grinkles truly happy!" Joining the voice is the cries of dismay and terror from the crewman caught out back.
Anne giggles and follows.
Tal points at Vern. "Excellent! A sudden impact is right what is needed. But, as I've told you before, it takes some time before the energy levels settle into their final state. This means you'll probably have to make your vehicle impact on me multiple times, and keep repeating the attempt until it works. I hope this isn't a source of hassle for you..."
Sun Jun 13 09:17:22 2004
Vern smiles. He shakes his head very deliberately, "Oh no, no problem at all. Happy to help. Pleasure in fact. No cost at all, totally free. I guess Anne could..." He blinks. Suggest Anne could zap them? What the heck? "Er... Come along and watch! Help, even!"
Anne giggles, "Watch the hamburger people! Yay!"
As Tal disappears beyond the door, all the children, previously staring in religious silence, start cheering wildly. Someone even asks for an encore!
Vern pauses reluctantly on the edge of the door. "Ah-teh! Encore? They want an encore and I'm all hamburger-like! It's just not fair!" he wails, before running after the alien.
Anne blinks and follows.
Vern runs over Tal with his car
============================== IC Announcements ==============================
They weren't satisfied with threatening our beloved children's health with their food, scientifically proven as noxious , no.
Now they want to corrupt their innocent little souls.
Those evildoers organized an immoral show for the children in that lair of perdition that they call 'Restaurant' featuring two characters resembling hamburgers (hamburgers. Can't you think of anything more perverse than eating the flesh of a mammal? If this isn't a step short of cannibalism, what is?).
The little skit involved random violence and, according to one very respected citizen (the president of the Aliens Whose Species Lack The Sense Of Hearing Club), it "Featured a language no kid should ever hear".
The finale consisted in one of the two characters, wearing rose tinted glasses, running over the other with a car, repeating the same action identical for multiple times.
Of course, those two enemies of rightfulness left a trail of people who were turned into humanoid-hamburger hybrids, clearly an intestinal disease, sign of how dangerous the thing they call 'food' is to the consumers' health.
That's why we urge you to stay away from McDoggies and find healthier and more morally acceptable alternatives, instead.
This information is an unbiased report brought to you by the Hungry Harry's Center for the Alimentary and Moral Safety of kids.
You step into the pillar of light and feel yourself be pulled upwards very quickly.
Someone must have found a way to turn off the gravity up here because this hemisphere shaped platform isn't supported by any visible means. The rounded face is pointed towards the ground and there is a nice flat surface looking skyward. A few clouds float by and below the platform. The flat surface is made up of several large tiles placed exactly towards the four compass points of the globe. A little bit of vegetation is dotted around the circumference, mostly small plants, suggesting that someone tends the upkeep of this place. Other than the plants, there doesn't seem to be anything else living on this platform.
Crys blinks as she comes walking into the place., looking around some.. she grins as she seams to be hunting someone
Minthe sits in the bleachers looking out over the city.
Crys seeing her friend.. she gets and gets starts.. she gets her running start and runs over.. jumping and tackle hug Minthe
Anne steps out of the light. She, too, seems to be hunting. With a strange looking gun drawn, she stalks around; apparently for things to shoot.
Minthe eeps as Crys tackles her, sending the two of them off the bleachers and into the vegetation around the circumference of the platform, "Ow..." she says, as the bleachers vanish into nothingness.
Minthe just looked at you.
Crys giggles and stands up. "Hello my friend."
Minthe sighs and shakes her head... "Back to this, are we? Well, it beats you being sad..." she admits as climbs to her feet and smoothes out her dress. "How are ya, today?"
Anne spots Minthe and Crys and stalks over to them, gun drawn.
Crys see this and grabs Minthe,, as she startrs tugging hard to get her throught the door.
Minthe misses the Anne and gun, and starts pulling back, "What?! Crys, I don't wanna go anywhere! I just got up here!"
Anne aims for Crys and fires her gun.
Crys trys to dodhe it
Sun Jun 13 11:22:25 2004
Minthe eeps as she sees the flash of light and dives towards the ground... "Yow! An energy ray!" she cries, having stayed up last night watching bad 50's Sci-Fi movies...
Actually, it's not energy. Not this time. It's soup, chicken noodle to be specific, that emerges from the gun and towards Crys. It's the good homemade kind, with lots of veggies, big noodles and large chunks of chicken. Needless to say, Crys is covered with it.
Anne blinkblinks as her gun shoots the soup, "/What/?"
Crys grows as her clothes are ruin. but this. she turns on anne and moves to jump her now.
Crys makes a bod roll (to Anne): 6
Minthe errrrs... "I mean a... soup(?)... ray?" she lifts up onto her elbows, and finally spots Anne as Crys pounces... "Oh no... you two are at it, again?!"
Anne blinkblinks as she dives out of the way, "That wasn't supposed to happen!"
Crys hissing as she is po.. she turns to the girl and trys to tackle her.. too pound her into the ground.
Crys makes a bod roll (to Anne): 6
Minthe eeps and scrambles to her feet, rushing over to pull the girls apart, "All right, stop it! Right now, or I'll frost the both of you... and /nobody/ wants that!"
Anne makes a bod roll (to Crys): 5
Anne gets tackled by Crys, "Hey, now, cut it out! It wasn't supposed to do that! I swear!"
Crys says, "you know how much theis outfit cost me! "oh she mad and she about to take it out on something and wel Anne it. "I going to pound what I had spens on it, on you.""
Minthe sighs and runs over to the two girls, wrapping her arms around Crys and trying to pull her off Anne...
Anne eeks, "It wasn't supposed to do anything to your clothes!"
Crys staying on Anne as Minthe one her back now.. this girl must be very mad.. as she raises her fist, to bring it done onto Anne face.. oh Anne can see it come as it does.. but stops before hitting the other girl. "What was it post to do?"
Minthe uhms and holds back for a second, "Actually, that's a good point. What /were/ you trying to do, Anne?"
Sun Jun 13 11:47:25 2004
Anne eeps and covers her face with two hands. With her other two hands, she protects her gun.
Crys says, "tell me or I going too start poiunding you."
Minthe grabs at Crys' arm, "Nobody's pounding anybody! Now c'mon Anne, what's going on?"
Anne peers out from between her fingers, "It's soo cool! Except for now!"
Crys growls as she wrinces her arm from Minthe.. as she not very happy. whats so cool.. tell me.
Anne decides to try to demonstrate instead of telling. She swiftly points her gun at Minthe and fires.
Minthe eeps as the... ray/goop/blast/whatever flies wide of it's mark, "Anne have you gone nuts?!" she asks grabbing for the gun.
Crys grows as she brings her fists hard down onto Anne.. as she gets turn into a half-hamburger person. her head is tge bun and the hamburger patty is her tongue.
Anne acks as Minthe takes the gun away, "Hey! You can't have that! It's mine! Gimme!"
Minthe eeks and scrambles back from the Crysburger... clutching the gun tightly to her, "What the heck?! " she shouts, figuring the extreme language is justified in this case... "Anne! What in dangnation are you doing?!"
Anne winces as she gets hit, "Ow!"
Crys says, "change me back ir you going ot be a hambugger, the hard way"
Minthe looks over the gun, "There's gotta be a switch on here that reverses the polarity of the ray... or something," Yep... those movies she watched were /bad.../
Sun Jun 13 12:12:26 2004
Anne starts to sniffle, "You're no fun..."
Crys says, "this is hurting me! you think thats fun!"
Crys knowing Minthe knows why.
Minthe hmms and looks over the gun, talking absently, "I'm tons of fun... just ask the dolphins," she says as she tries to puzzle out how the thing works... then she figures out what to do. It's pretty simple, really. "Duh!" she says, pointing the gun at Anne... "How do I reverse it?"
Anne sniffles, "You can't! Not yet. It'll wear off..."
Crys well slips off anne, like she had a choice, as she seams too be turning blue.
Minthe uhms... looking at Crys, "Anne, is that /supposed/ to happen? I don't know a lot about hamburgers and stuff..."
Anne blinks, "Uh, well, it didn't happen to Tal or Vern..."
Crys laying there and waiting, as she not happy right now.. better then trying to kill Anne
Minthe blinks, "Tal and Vern?! Why? I mean Crys I could understand, if you were still mad at her or something, but why would you do this to your boyfriend and bandmate?" she eyes Anne suspiciously. Something tells Minthe the girl has finally gone off the deep end.
Anne slowly starts to get to her feet. "Because..." Anne says in a small voice, "I wanted to test it out..."
Sun Jun 13 12:37:26 2004
Crys feels herself turning back to normal as she stands up.. ewalking back over too Anne. "You well pay for my clothes."
Minthe blinks, "Test it out? You mean you made this thing? Why? Why would you want to turn people into, *shudders* land-meat?"
Anne shakes her head, "No, no... Tal made it! And it's not just hamburgers..."
Crys walks to Anne. "Well you pay for my Cloak!
Minthe blinks, "Uhm... OK. I don't get it... what does it do, and why does Tal want to do it?" She looks at Crys' cloak, "Uhm... why don't you do that cleaning thing you did with my dress on Popcorn Day?"
Crys says, "its not oil."
Kaelyn seems to shoot out of the tiles only to stop about a foot above the ground, landing with a soft pat.
Kaelyn has arrived.
Minthe stands over Crys and Anne, holding a strange gun, and nodding. She finally seeing a way out of this, "OK, I've got a solution that'll solve everything... We'll go shopping!"
Anne blinks, "I'm not buying anything! And the gun.... it, well, turns people into other things. Whatever I want."
Kaelyn materialises suddenly on the floating platform via the column of light, and walks over to where everyone is standing. "Hi, people. What's going on?"
Kaelyn just looked at you.
Crys says, "then I well talk to your mother anne"
Sun Jun 13 13:02:26 2004
Minthe blinks, "Anne, you /did/ ruin her outfit... it's only fair," she spots Kaelyn and waves the gun towards her... in a friendly, 'I've forgotten there's an evil ray gun in my hand' kinda way, "Hey, Kaelyn! Long time no see! How's summer treatin' ya?"
Kaelyn eyes the evil ray gun warily and takes a few careful steps back. "Hey, Minthe! I'm good, and you?" Though she kinda suspects that 'I'm good' will no longer apply to herself if Minthe /accidentally/ fires that thing...
Anne looks at Crys and laughs, "Why would she listen to /you/?" She rolls her eyes at Minthe, "And I suppose if I drove through a puddle and splashed her with mud, I'd have to pay?"
Kaelyn looks from Anne to Crys and from Crys to Anne with obvious confusion on her face.
Crys has disconnected.
Minthe shrugs, "If you tracked her down and splashed her on purpose? Yeah... This wasn't an accident, Anne," she looks down as Crys vanishes in a puff of illogic... Joining the bleachers apparently, "Ohh... never mind."
Kaelyn suddenly flails her arms as a gust of wind hits her... "Oh no... Helpppp..." And promptly falls off the platform, landing with a satisfying SPLAT on the ground below.
Kaelyn steps into the column of light and she falls through the floor!
Kaelyn has left.
Anne sighs, "I was just trying to have some fun. Sheesh."
Minthe aims the gun at Anne, "Fun, huh? Well, let's see how much fun this is..." she says firing the gun.
Minthe eeps as her head gets turned into a giant hamburger... which, of course, given her aversion to such things, immediately makes her sick...
Anne blinkblinks, "Oooh..."
Sun Jun 13 13:27:27 2004
HamburgerHead Minthe, drops to the ground, looking very queasy...
Anne giggles, "That's so neat!" She doesn't really seem to notice Minthe looks ill. How can you tell if a hamburger is ill anyway?
'Cause it blows chunks.... of hamburger meat all over the ground... which HamburgerHead Minthe does... just before passing out...
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